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Losing my wife: Kevin McElvanna speaks with remarkable candour on night that changed his life forever

Former Armagh All-Ireland winner Kevin McElvanna has spoken, with remarkable candour and bravery, about losing his wife and two friends in a tragic road traffic collision last year.

Kevin was a guest on the latest instalment of the GAA Social podcast with Thomas Niblock and Oisin McConville where he recounted the events surrounding that night – into the early hours of Saturday, November 4 – which would claim the lives of Patrick and Ciera Grimley, as well as his own wife, Ciara.

During the hour-long interview, Kevin spoke about the week he enjoyed with his family leading up to that night, as well as the surprise night out to celebrate Patrick’s 40th birthday on the Friday, and the days and weeks that came after.

Kevin’s gratitude for the “powerful” support from friends, family, Madden GAA, and the wider community prompted him to speak so openly.

“Right from the get go, really; from the moment the accident happened, we were surrounded by – wrapped up, really – by our family, our neighbours, and our community,” he said.

“They helped us through what were the most difficult times, probably in any of our lives; in the hospital at home during that very difficult two-week period where we had three wakes and three funerals on our road.

He added: “The whole community, not just the GAA community, but the entire community, two clubs here in Madden; our football club and our camogie club, but the community extends beyond that, non-sporting friends, neighbours and everybody just mucked in. Nobody knew what to do. Everybody wanted to help, and the help came in very simple ways. It was really remarkable I have to say, the way everybody stood up in really adverse times and nurtured us through it, coached us through it, and looked after us and wrapped their arms around us, and we felt that, and continue to feel it. It’s very powerful thing, and it continues to be.”

Kevin spoke of the crash and how he knew straightaway that life was not going to be the same again.

He also told of that journey down the road from the hospital and, despite his background in dealing with relatives of deceased patients, that “nothing would prepare you for that scenario, which is to tell your children that their mommy isn’t coming home”.

Kevin reflected on how, on the Friday morning of the collision, he had been out running and was listening to a podcast with an interviewee who had lost a daughter in tragic circumstances. This author believed he had the perfect life but one phone call turned that illusion upside down almost instantly.

“I was running, I was thinking, I have the perfect life,” recalled Kevin. “I’ve everything I’ve ever wanted, and how would I deal with that, if that, or something similar were to happen to me? It was painful to put yourself in that situation, to envisage it happening to someone belonging to you, and within 24 hours it had…”

You can listen to the full podcast here.

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