A councillor has opened up about how his daughter’s bedtime story gave him the courage to get help for his mental health.
Mark Gibbons says a ‘brave rabbit’ in the book prompted him to be brave himself and admit he needed help after going through a difficult period in his life. And the independent elected rep added that he is speaking out amid a number of suicides in the area he represents.
As well as seeking the help of a counsellor Cllr Gibbons, himself a published author, also found support at the Rostrevor men’s shed.
The Newry, Mourne and Down District Crotlieve councillor spoke to the Local Democracy Reporting Service this week on doing the “best thing he ever did” in opening up on his feelings.
He said: “What sparked off going public for me, was that this past couple of weeks there have been a number of suicides across the district and the vast majority has been men.
“I just said to my wife, Claire… look I need to reach out here to people to let them know what I went through and it’s ok, you can speak out and ask for help, you just need to be a little bit brave and do it.”
The recently published Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency statistics show the rates of suicide at 220 a year.
The suicide rate per 100,000 population was higher among those with a marital status of single or divorced, compared to those recorded as married or widowed.
It was Mark’s own struggle with mental health that helped him to focus more on his pastime of writing, which resulted in his first supernatural fiction set the surrounding landscape of his home village of Rostrevor.
The local postman managed to turn his hobby into a life-saving method of being creative and went on to publish a book entitled ‘Cloch Mor Lore’ under his pen name ‘Frank O’Neill’.
Though, it was a different book of children’s fiction that actually gave him the courage to pick up the phone to ask for help.
Mark added: “I was reading a book my daughter has about a wee rabbit and he has to be a little bit brave all the way through the story and I just thought of that, to be a little bit brave and reach out.
“Last year there were a couple of big things that happened in my life and I had to reach out to somebody and it’s the best thing I ever did. If it helps even just one person, who reads about this and thinks well if that man can open up to the public then I can make a quick call for a couple of minutes and get help.”
The creation of Men’s Sheds has become a well regarded phenomenon in recent times for providing social gatherings which are beneficial for mental health and friendship.
The sheds encourage people to come together to make, repair and repurpose as well as supporting projects in their local communities. The ethos is to improve wellbeing, reduce loneliness and combat social isolation.
Councillor Gibbons added: “Everything is good now for me. The Rostrevor Men’s Shed has also been a huge help, and always has been. In a nice twist of irony, the very shed I wanted to create for people who might be struggling with their mental health ended up helping me when I was at my lowest.
“These days, I can only make it on a Wednesday evening because of Saturday work commitments, but even one night a week makes a big difference. And to see the Shed celebrate its 10th anniversary is truly fantastic. They are a wonderful group of men.
“My writing helps too. Taking the councillor hat off, even for an hour, and putting the Frank O’Neill one on gives me space to breathe and do what I love. I’d be lost without it, and I love getting lost within it.”
Mark’s continued: “If you’re feeling low, find people, a club, or an activity you’ve always enjoyed. For me, it’s my family, my community work, my writing, and the Shed. They all play a big part in my mental wellbeing.
“You are not alone, my friend. And never be afraid to reach out to a counsellor if you need to. It’s a hard call to make, but a game changer when you do.”
Information and contact details for local Men’s Sheds can be found online.
Anyone who needs to talk to someone about mental health issues can call the Samaritans on 116123 or Lifeline on 0808 808 8000.
