Caring for a relative with illness, disability or disease is one of the purest and most selfless expressions of love.
It’s often assumed that a person’s primary carers are their parents or partners – and while for many that is the case – there are also those who are cared for by their young children or siblings.
The week beginning June 9 marks Carers Week across the UK and one Richhill mother has taken the opportunity to highlight the very special “unseen” carers in her life – and to praise Action for Children Young Carers for the incredible work they do in supporting these little heroes.
Mum-of-five Carol Cooper is just one of many carers who supports her 14-year-old son, Zach.
Zach lives with epilepsy and several other complex medical conditions that mean he requires support with feeding, toileting and day-to-day activities.
And, Carol is keen to let the world know that she simply couldn’t manage without the incredible support of her children – who all take a hands on role in Zach’s care… even two-year-old Maddie!
They say “team work makes the dream work” and nothing could be closer to the truth in Carol’s house.
Speaking to Armagh I, Carol said of her eldest boys, Alex (17) and Dylan (16): “My oldest two can look after Zach. I can leave Zach with them and they can put him on his BiPAP machine at night and help put him off and on to his NG feeding tube.
“They are a great support in hospital too. There have been times when Zach has to go to hospital appointments or for operations and the boys have to come with me because my husband is working or he has to stay at home with the other kids and they are there to do that.
“You try to make sure they don’t ever miss out on anything but there are times when Zach’s health just has to take priority just because he can’t always do what everyone else does.
“But, I always try to make sure that they can do whatever they need to or want to.”
And something that has always been there to ensure the boys get their own recreational time is Action for Children Young Carers.
Both Alex and Dylan have been enrolled with Young Carers since they were around eight years old and in that time they have enjoyed many monthly meet-ups, days out, events and activities arranged by the organisation.
Of the benefits that come from participation with Young Carers, Carol continued: “I suppose for us they have just always been there.
“Alex and Dylan always had each other growing up because there is only 13 months between them. But when they went, they met other kids who were in similar situations and that’s so important because – as a young carer – you might think it’s just you and none of your friends know what you’re going through.
“They go to activities together. They have been to snow tubing, pantomimes, bowling and paddle boarding and sometimes they go to their hub in Banbridge and do a youth group there. It’s very varied and obviously it’s all funding dependent.
“But it provides peer support and recognises that these children have sort of been born into a role they didn’t ask for.”
And while, caring for a sibling may be unavoidable in certain circumstances, Carol believes her children have been shaped by the experience for the better.
“They don’t see it as anything different,” she said. “It’s their life but I do think it gives them a different outlook on life – in a good way.
“Both Alex and Dylan volunteer with Ripples Special Olympics and with Goal Line who are all helping children with disabilities. They are just so much more understanding and compassionate because they know what it’s like.”
Zach’s younger siblings Ollie (9) and Maddie (2) are also learning to be just as hands-on as their big brothers, with Carol explaining that Ollie is now firmly stepping into caring role and Maddie even assists by bringing changing products to Carol and the boys when they are working with Zach.
And, as wonderful as Young Carers have been with Alex and Dylan, she feels like the charity will be of much more benefit to Ollie as the years go on.
She explained: “For Ollie it’s probably even more beneficial because he’s sort of on his own in our house – even though he has siblings. Alex and Dylan are a lot older and they are busy with work, doing GCSEs and A-Levels and then the next one to him is Maddie – but she’s only two.
“Now with Young Carers he will be able to meet up with other kids who are like him or have siblings like him and I hope that helps him to understand that it isn’t just him going through this.
“Ollie sometimes asks, ‘Why does Zach have to be disabled?’ – and that’s fine to question – he’s just trying to understand because his friends at school don’t have someone like Zach.
“That’s why I think Young Carers is so important, because they can explain that in the right way and he gets a chance to meet other children like him.”
Thankfully, Zach is currently doing really well and is attending school at Ceara in Portadown which gives him and the family some stability.
He is due to go to London in the near future for an NG tube to be installed in his stomach which Carol says will make tube feeding much easier.
Of her entire caring family unit, Carol says: “I am just so grateful for them and there are times where they go unrecognised but I do step back and be thankful for all they do and realise that there are so many kids their age that don’t do that.
“Long term we want to make sure there is somebody there who can look after Zach and it’s not left to one person. We hope that his siblings will all be there for him because you don’t know what the future holds. But I am so confident that he will always be well looked after.”
Visit Action for Children’s website here for more information on Young Carer support
