Many parents will know what it is like watching their little ones venture off to school for the first time – the pain of parting, the fear of the unknown and the knowledge that time may be moving too fast.
It’s a natural thing. And it is equally as difficult for the child as it is for mum and dad.
And that is what inspired Cullyhanna mum Aoife Watters to write a new children’s book – to try to remove some of that anxiety, that fear and emotional toll that separation can bring.
Aoife is the manager and director of three local daycare and afterschool facilities – Little Explorers Daycare in Belleeks and Little Explorers Daycare in Culloville, as well as role-play centre Hidden Village in Castleblaney.
She knows, therefore, what she is talking about, although only recently experienced it first hand with daughter Ealach Mae…
Explained Aoife: “It’s written from my own personal experience with my own child. My children obviously were here, they basically grew up in Little Explorers because I was back to work so early.
“They never really witnessed what separation anxiety was because they were always with me here. They always knew all the girls in work. They always knew the rooms and a change to them never really had an effect on them.
“It wasn’t until my oldest girl, she’s five now and in P1, went to nursery and obviously it was a big change. She was going into people she didn’t know, new building and stuff like that. She was going through a lot of separation anxiety during drop-offs and talking about school the night before.
“She loves school and she eventually settled then and she was doing great and then she had to go into P1 the following year and it was like starting all over again.
“Even though she knew all the children, the surroundings were different because it was a bigger building and there’s just more changes in P1.
“So I suppose it came from that then because we’re sort of dealing still with the anxiety that she has. She has a bit of separation anxiety, she has her own anxiety that’s being dealt with.
“The book was sort of created around that, because I was sitting here and saying ‘don’t be worrying’, and there were parents leaving and they were crying.
“I was always reassuring them, but I actually never felt what they were feeling until my children actually went into nursery and P1. It only dawned on me then, because I remember going in and my heart sank and I was getting back into the car and I was crying, she was crying. I could never understand it here because I was the one that was obviously reassuring the parents saying, ‘It’ll be OK’.”
The book is entitled My First Day at Little Explorers Daycare, and on its cover is described as a “gentle story created to support children and families through the early years of childcare”.
It adds: “Inspired by both professional experience and personal understanding of separation anxiety, this book follows a child through familiar daily routines, helping children feel safe, supported and understood. With caring educators, simple language and strong sense of belonging, children learn that all feelings are OK and that early social experiences help them grow in confidence and connection.”
According to Aoife, not all children will have such experiences, but the book serves as a valuable resource for those who do – and their parents.
She added: “I have a son, Paddy Og, he’s three and in nursery at the minute, but he’s a different sort of child. He’s quite easygoing so I never really experienced that with him. I think girls are more anxious sometimes than boys.
“It’s basically making them aware of children’s feelings and understanding their feelings as well and letting them know that it’s OK to feel the way they are and it’s normal.
“Whenever I had gone through to the school to explain all that we were going through with this with Ealach Mae, it was nearly as if it was just brushed under the carpet. I was told that the child was just playing up on me, when I knew that that was not the situation.”
The book therefore, at its end, includes Aoife and Ealach Mae’s own pictures and personal experiences.
But above all, it’s a “picture book”, with a lot of colour and words which a child can understand, a story too which they can enjoy and appreciate.
Added Aoife: “There is a part in the book as well which is just a gentle guide for our parents and caregivers. It’s just some information, it’s not coming from a professional or something like that. It’s just something that I put together. There’s wee questions at the end of the book just for the parents to ask the children, talking about their feelings together, and there’s a wee poem in it as well.”
Serving as a useful and engaging publication delivered in a child-friendly way, the book is available at Little Explorers Daycare and via Amazon.
“I have contacted some of our local schools to see if the schools or the likes of Sure-Start programmes would maybe consider taking it in as well, because I suppose it’s valuable to them too,” said Aoife.
“They have their own wee libraries in school for the children and it would be good for the teachers as well, to be preparing them for that too.”
My First Day at Little Explorers Daycare, by Aoife Watters, with pictures by Eimear’s Designs, of Newry, can be ordered on Amazon, priced at £10, or from any of the three facilities in Belleek, Culloville or Castleblaney.
